The last of the summer lavender

The last of the summer lavender at the farmer’s market.

This means summer’s ending, birthday’s coming, fall’s just around the corner and I leave in two weeks.

I’m stressing out. Not about the trip but this part. The inbetween waiting part. I have no patience. Mostly because it kills me. I just want to get the scary, awful feeling, heart racing, on the verge of tears uncertainty over with. Whatever comes next is nothing compared to this. I’ve always hated this part. I don’t want to think about it. I don’t want to wait for it. I just want to be in it, I just want to be experiencing it, I just want to be doing it. Not thinking about it, wondering about it, stressing about it. Which is where I am now.

This part sucks.

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