On where I’d like to get married

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Sometimes I wonder if I should’ve been a wedding planner.

Random, I know. Even more random because I’m not married. Which I’ve contemplated for a while. And I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s not that I have a fear of commitment or of marriage, it’s that I have a fear of weddings. I know it’s supposed to be every little girl’s dream but the feeling I get when I think of a wedding, especially one of those ginormous, Royal, “husband-to-be in Gucci” kind of weddings, where you have to walk down an aisle, scares the shit out of me. Even more so now that my dad isn’t even around to catch me when I trip. Which I would. It’s inevitable because, when it comes down to it, I am a klutz. If I actually got married I’d have to find some way of beaming myself right up to the front. Couple that with really bad stage fright (which is part of why I had to rule out actress early on) where I’d feel a strong need to pop a lot of Ativan and it adds up to bad situation (Cue scene in Best Friends where Goldie Hawn passes out on the escalator). So it feels kinda random that when I encounter a beautiful public space the first thing that pops into my mind is: hmmm, this feels like a good space for the wedding. What feels even more random is that the picture that pops up in my mind to go along with that thought is that same space fully bedazzled. And I mean fully — tables, flowers, ceremony, everything. It’s been that way since I was a kid. Which is just to say that this feeling comes unbidden. Temple of Dendur at the Metropolitan? Check. Place des Vosges? Check. Stonehenge? Check. And to add in even more feelings of randomness, sometimes I might get this feeling in a offbeat public space. Top of the parking garage at The Grove? Check. Sometimes I don’t even have to be there (see airplane hanger in Tustin and the aforementioned Stonehenge). I’ve given up fighting it.

This space, Chris Burden’s Urban Lights, definitely evokes that feeling. And, given that last night, like every other time, day or night, that I’ve been there, there were a bunch of couples there having their engagement pictures taken, it does make me wonder about whether I’m in the wrong business.

(Hmmm…maybe not such a bad idea when you contemplate the offices of this company…)

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